Your mindset will suffer by using the word hustle. Life is about learning valuable lessons. I’ve decided to post journal thoughts that hopefully resonate with someone. These thoughts are snippets, not necessarily the entire journal entry for any specific day. I often write ideas and words and not complete sentences or paragraphs.
Negative Impact on a Hustle Mindset
I drove home from my job 6 hours early due to feeling unwell. I woke up feeling anxious with a migraine. I couldn’t eat; my stomach was in knots. I’m not sure how I’ll survive if I have to work with X one more time. She’s just such an unhappy person – always talking about others as if she’s that much better. And Y thinks everything he does is hilarious – it’s not. There’s nothing funny about scaring someone at 5:30 am or 6:15 am. Stop. I’ve asked you several times to stop, but you continue. No means no. Why won’t you listen?
Hey, all you entrepreneurs, especially women. I have a message for you: Stop using the word hustle! The word hustle is hurting your mindset; negatively impacting your happiness.
Most of you are insanely busy. You’re either building a side business while working full-time or spending all day trying to figure it all out. Life is chaotic and busy. You are ‘hustling’ because as women, we hustle to get everything done.
Some of us have it down when it comes to a hustle mindset, or at least we have tricked ourselves into believing we do. But, let me be honest with you for a moment. You don’t. I don’t. And all we’re doing is hustling ourselves into the ground. We are unhappy. Have you ever had any of these questions run through your mind:
- Maybe I’ll start an X company?
- Perhaps it’s time to buy a house?
- Maybe I’d like to become a massage therapist?
- Perhaps I can be a successful marketer?
- Wait, how the hell do I build a website?
- Do I have to be X for the rest of my life?
- How do I be on all social media platforms all day?
- How do I sell X without going broke?
- Why is no one listening to me?
A stark reality:
- You’re trying to figure out how to run an online business yourself.
- You’re trying to raise a family (and if you’re single like me, you’re doing it alone).
- You’re trying to figure out how to be everything to everyone… all the time.
The reality of life is women feel they need to have a mindset similar to that of our male counterpart. We must stop listening to people who say, “To be successful, you must hustle. If you’re not hustling, you’re not working.” That’s all bullshit! Period. You don’t need to ‘hustle’ yourself into the grave to succeed.
Our mindset is a major factor of success or failure. However, you do not need to always ‘hustle’ to succeed. Frankly, I hate the word hustle. I also hate when I hear someone say, “If you don’t have a tough enough mindset, you will fail.” And, I especially don’t like ‘coaches’ who criticize others who are emotionally sensitive (aka, cry). I’ll get off my soapbox now and continue with this post.
Hustle Mentality Burnout
There IS no difference in how you use the word hustle. If you’re like I was, you are working 60+ hours a week at a job, caring for three children, all while building a business at night. You are headed for Burnoutville, population millions.
Burnt the hell out. Done, over the ‘hustle’ mentality.
Ugh, not another day of people I don’t like. I’m depressed. I feel sick. I don’t want to go to work. Hell, I’m supposed to help others get out of the dark tunnel of their JOB… Instead, I’m in the tunnel of hell. I’m burned out from hustling day and night. No one understands what I’m going through. Why isn’t anyone listening to me? Why can’t I just make money? Help….
On this particular day, when I got home from my work of hell, I chose to take a nap. I don’t nap, ever. I’ve never been a napper since I feel this wastes time. In reality, once we die, we will sleep.
As I wake from my slumber, I realize a valuable lesson was learned during my nap. Maybe my dream spoke to me. Don’t work so much doing what you no longer enjoy doing. If all you do is hustle and burn yourself out, there is no enjoying life.
I’ve worked so hard that I got sick, constantly tired, and entirely a bitch to be around. My poor kids and partner hated being around me. What type of life am I genuinely building if no one wants to share that life with me?
Mindset Changes for a Positive Impact
I believe we are all on this planet to make a positive difference. We are given talents to share with others. Hustling yourself into the ground to build a business or create content is not why we are on this planet.
If you find yourself hustling, getting depressed, and turning into someone you no longer recognize, it is time to take a breather. Give yourself the grace to take a break to figure out why you’re doing what you’re doing.
During the pandemic, everyone was forced to work from home. I swear people lost their minds. I had several large marketing and content creation contracts. As soon as the pandemic became a full-blown reality, those contracts bailed. I had done work that people were refusing to pay. In one contract, the person blatantly lied.
Let’s be honest for a moment. If someone can lie quickly, they are not the person you want to have a business relationship with. After one contract after another bailed, I couldn’t hustle any longer. I was depressed, lacked self-esteem, and constantly asked myself, “What is wrong with me?”
I quit everything related to my business, blogging, helping, writing, and disappeared from the internet. I disappeared from my online friends. I didn’t want to help anyone. I wanted to hide and figure out who I was. When face mask restrictions were lifted, I applied for in-person jobs. I thought by going to a job after seventeen years would fix everything, but it did not.
Finding a Healthy Mindset
I spent 16 months doing something totally different than what I had done for twenty years as a way to break my hustling mentality. If you’re wondering if I hold ill will toward the people who bailed, the answer is no. I would never call those people out publicly. There is no benefit from telling the world about X, Y, or Z. They know what they did, and if they can sleep at night knowing they are not who they pretend to be online, then that is on them, not me. And for the Christian woman who is building a business around honesty… you may need to reconsider your business strategy. You are a fraud.
Around 12 months into my hiatus, I realized I was trying to be something to everyone. No one can be everywhere all the time. If you hate doing emails, hire someone to do emails. If you hate posting on social media platforms, hire a social media manager (they love that shit, really).
You can not be anything to anyone if you are sick or tired. Ask for help. It’s okay to have people helping you. Above everything, it’s okay to take a day off, spend a day lounging in front of the TV or do absolutely nothing. It’s all okay. Our time on this planet is minimal and precious.
During my 14 months of a real job, I realized I hated someone else telling me what to do and when to do it. My true calling of helping others via written and spoken word is where my life is best served, without all the hustling.
Losing the Hustle Mentality
Personally, I have a (physical) book addiction which is why I had to declutter and free myself of over 1000 books. When finding ways to motivate yourself, you can choose books, videos, podcasts, or a combination of them.
Basically, find the medium that will have the most significant impact on you, especially when you are freeing yourself from the hustle mentality. Here are a few of my favorite books.
Sometimes, you will be lucky enough to meet someone who truly inspires you with their story – filling your heart with warmth.
I met this gal once at an adult store, somewhere I wasn’t familiar with but needed to research the book I was writing (under a pen name as it was steamy). I never thought in a million years I would leave the store with humility, warmth, and motivation.
We all need others at times to motivate us – to help us see the happiness when the skies are dark – life is too heavy.
Ultimately, you are responsible for your happiness and for motivating yourself. One of the most common things I see in people is watching, listening, or reading too much. Many people begin their day looking for someone else to make them happy, to motivate them. Stop.
Finding a Happiness Mentality
My partner said to me one day, “What is it you truly want to do that’ll make you the happiest?” I immediately answered, “writing, teaching, and helping others shine in the world.”
While many strategies could help you stop hustling, I feel that everyone will benefit from three fundamental life tips, no matter where you are in life.
- Building a business or life you love is a long-term commitment.
- Use personal time wisely.
- Enjoy your life!
As women and/or business owners, we must stop hustling and start living and enjoying life! Do you resonate with living life, or hustling in life? I’d love to know your thoughts.
A person can take numerous steps to happiness for overall well-being. If you are one of those who like to skip to the bottom, my biggest takeaway would be to understand what you do and do not have control over.
One of the ways you do have control, your body. Your body signals when you are emotionally, mentally, and physically struggling. If you want to be happier, you need to practice healthier eating, getting exercise, and taking care of your emotional well-being through journaling.
A final, final thought on hustle mentality.
My belief is our overall well-being is being hurt by a constant hustle mentality.
Keep moving, one step at a time. You got this!